YA or STFU

“Private” series, by Kate Brian

Brian, Kate (2006). Private, Invitation Only, and Untouchable. “Private” series (books 1-3). NY: Simon Pulse.

This relatively new series by Kate Brian would seem to have everything a cheap reading date like me could want–rich bitch characters, an exclusive private school setting, adolescent intrigue, the promise of a mystery–however, the first three books didn’t really do it for me the same way the “Gossip Girl” series does. I’ll admit it: I initially read the books out of order (I read book #2 before I read book #1). But even when I did finally get myself oriented, I just didn’t find this latest mean girls series to be that satisfying.

The first book in the series begins with fifteen-year-old Reed’s arrival at an exclusive private boarding school. A lower-income Pennsylvania girl, Reed’s scholarship to the prestigious Easton Academy is her ticket out of town. When Reed spies a group of uber-wealthy, popular and–it would seem–powerful girls on campus, she sets her sights on becoming one of Them. Turns out, the girls are interested in Reed, too, and by the end of book 1 in the series, have accepted the newbie into their exclusive clique and set her up in their posh dorm. She even gets a hot boyfriend. By the end of the book, however, the boyfriend has disappeared, and the next two installments detail the mystery surrounding his disappearance.

Like I said before, the “Private” books seem to have all the ingredients that made Cecily von Ziegesar’s “Gossip Girl” series the smashing success it is; however, author Brian seems to have left something important out of the mix: the heart. Say what you want about “G.G.,” I think that series has balls, wit, and even humanity; “Private,” on the other hand, does not. It was hard to distinguish Reed’s girl crushes from one another and I had to keep going back to their beginning-of-the-book descriptions to figure out who was who. I thought that as I got to know the cast of characters better, I’d sort all those bitchy girls out in my head, but I was wrong. By the end of Book 3, I still had to consult the first pages to figure out who was talking.

On a more prurient level, by reading Book 2 first, I was privy to some sexy information readers of Book 1 would have to wait until the latter part of the first book to discover: Reed gets devirginized! Unfortunately, for all the attention paid this event in retrospect, the whole shebang is barely described when it happens. How disappointing! I was hoping that “Private” would at least have some hot sex going for it (It is called “Private,” after all). Something tells me this one isn’t going to be optioned for a TV series . . .